Blue Christmas

It was 2.30 on the Sunday afternoon when I received the phone call. It was 23rd of December and I was preparing for the Carol Service. My Dad's voice was tired, resigned and sad, "Son I'm ringing to let you know that Mum died 10 minutes ago."

I was a young minister and this was my first church. My Mother was 54 when she lost her battle with cancer. I went to the Carol Service. The Church was beautifully decorated for Christmas. The familar words of the carols rang out. It was a Welsh congregation and they sang their hearts out. I preached on the 3 wise men finding their King, God and Saviour but honestly in my heart, at that moment, I felt I had lost him.

Bereavement is a time of pain and confusion when your foundations are shaken. The familiar certainties crumble and the horns of reality seem to be cruelly sharp. I was 26 when my Mother died but hearing the news that Sunday afternoon I felt like a small boy again. I stood in the garden looking up at the gray skies and my tears mingled with the rain as I cried for my lovely Mother.

I wasn't a small boy, I was a young man with a loving wife by my side. In my heart I knew that love remains. As Edith Sitwell put it in the poem 'Eurydice' : Love is not changed by Death, And nothing is lost and all in the end is harvest.'

Christmas can be such a difficult time. Living with loss becomes all the more poignant at this time of celebration. That is why this year at All Saints we are including a service for the quiet discovery of the true meaning of Christmas. It is an invitation to be ourselves in God's presence with all our hurts and pains. Christmas is not only for those whose joy knows to bounds it is also for those whose sorrow knows no end. The Redeemer comes to all. On Tueday 21st December at 7pm is the time to learn anew that the star of Bethlehem shines in the darkest night even today.

Advent

Advent -The Divine breaks into human history.

'The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light.'

When we truly see we don't have just sit, we can soar.

I was visiting the Segregation Unit. Seeing every prisoner in 'the block' daily is part of the statutory duties of the Chaplain. I opened the door of the first cell to be greeted enthusiastically, "O I am glad you've come because I want you to help me." He went on to tell me that his concern was not for himself but for a pigeon that was stuck on the exercise yard just outside his cell window. "Its stuck inside a bread bag," he said, "and its been there all night." It seemed odd but I went out to investigate. Sure enough this sad creature had walked into a plastic bread bag eating the crumbs. It had clearly enjoyed a fine meal of bread crumbs and then it must have looked up to discover it was hemmed in and surrounded on every side by the grey walls of its plastic prison! All it had to do was to back out the way it had come in but it lacked the intelligence to work that out. It was an easy thing for me to gently pull the plastic bag away. The bird blinked at me, bewildered. Suddenly realising it was free it spread its wings and flew away.



We stood and watched it soar into the blue enjoying its freedom. The prisoner peering through the bars of his cell was beaming. He was clearly gaining vicarious pleasure from securing the freedom of a fellow creature. "I wish you could do that for me Chaplain," he said. We laughed as we watched the pigeon circle above the yard and then fly over the high prison wall. It was an easy thing for me to remove the bird's blindfold so that it could see to soar.



Advent does that for us. "The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light." When you truly see - sitting can be replaced by soaring!

Christ the King

I love this festival.

It isn't about tub-thumping triumphalism. This mornings reading was not about the Sapphire shimmering throne of Revelation but a rough cross. The Gospel today was Jesus saying 'Father forgive them for they know not what they do.' It is in the continuous mode, Jesus said, and Jesus kept on saying, 'Father forgive them for they know not what they do.' As the nails were driven through the flesh of hands and feet; as the cross was raised on high and dropped with quivering jolt into its socket; as they gambled for his clothes, ..he said 'Father forgive....' Not the statement of a muscle flexing monarch but the of the King who came 'not to be served but to serve and give his life a ransom for many.' Love rules.

It has been a good day. The King is among us!

I stopped blogging because my blog was called Sabbatical Blog so once my Sabbatical was over it seemed incongruous to keep contributing to that legend! So I have changed the name though I hate to admit that the technicalities elude me. I needed Sarah's help (my lovely daughter) to make that change. However Pilgrim Pathway is how I feel about life. It is a constant journey of discovery.

I like the Celtic concept of pilgrimage - the discipline of - peregrinatio.

From this we get our word 'peripatetic.' It has the thought of 'wandering' but not aimlessly. It is the journey led by the Spirit; a pilgrimage of the heart.

An old Irish poem puts as follows:

To go to Rome

Is much trouble, little profit;

The King of Heaven, whom thou seekest there,

Unless thou bring Him with thee, thou wilt not find.

It is the journey I love and I don't travel alone.